Mamas' Stories

Thank you, Estelle, for inviting me and sharing your space and story about life abroad with your kids during a challenging time.

We believe this story might be helpful for all the families who plan to move abroad with their teens.

Estelle

Estelle was born in Annecy, a town in the northern French Alps. After that, she moved to Paris. She began studies at the Faculty of Physics, where she successfully completed her PhD. During this time, Estelle met her husband, Mathieu.

Growing up in the middle of the Alps made her very united with nature and shaped her personality. It seems that nature kept calling her back. Therefore, Estelle abandoned her successful career in physics and pursued a fresh path as a Landscape Gardener. Learning the profession required a year of hands-on, physically demanding work, which she found very interesting. She worked for three years for a famous gardening company. And then, one day, her husband came home and announced that he had a job opportunity with the option of relocation to India. 

Estelle and her family stayed for two years in India and then moved to China, where they are right now. 

She has not stopped following her dream. Currently, she is building her own garden design activity called Creer un jardin en ville.

Children

Estelle is a mom of two children. The firstborn, Gaspard, is 17 years old now. Estelle describes him as a sensitive, knowledgeable, and open-minded young man. He loves cinema, music, geography, and history. Louise is 14 years old, and she is a very creative and empathic person. She loves to design her clothes. Both kids love sport. Louise particularly enjoys playing football and participates in many competitions.

Estelle mentions it is not easy to be a mother of teenagers. You can lose a bond quickly with your kids during this period, but “try to stay close to them. It is so crucial. Listen and talk with your kids. Always. But also give them a space. They need this space and autonomy this time of their life.”

Life in India

Estelle and her family moved to India in 2019. Kids continued their education in the international school. Both children were lacking fluency in English. However, they caught up quickly with the rhythm. 

Because of the pandemic situation, at some moment, schools were closed for 18 months. Gaspard and Louise needed to study online. Home school during the pandemic was a very tiring experience for many families. It needed a lot of engagement and support from the parent’s side. Luckily, Louise and Gaspard were very autonomous in their studies. It was an enormous advantage for Mathieu and Estelle.

The company moved them back twice to France, escaping from the critical situation in the Indian hospitals. It was a very intense period for the family.

Life in China

Soon Mathieu received a new offer from the company. They proposed him to move to China. Europe was going through a critical period. Despite China’s closed borders, people within the country were living a relatively normal life. The schools were open, which was one of the crucial points for them.

Once they moved to China, the kids’ lives returned to normal. Returning to school, making new friends, pursuing hobbies, and exploring the city were all possibilities for them.

How to prepare your kids and soften the whole process

Estelle says you can not avoid the challenges of moving to a new country. “Particularly moving with the kids of teenage age is not a simple step. They need their tribe and autonomy. When you arrive in the country, they can lose all of it. So it is challenging for them.” 

A major challenge for children is leaving behind their family and friends. They need to move to a new country where they have no acquaintances. This social point can be very hard for them. Also, they may face difficulties with the new language. It might limit their autonomy in the beginning.

One additional point can cause pain for children. Once you become an expat, you end up in a very international environment. Many new friends might leave the country soon. So, the kids have to say “goodbye” repeatedly.

Estelle mentions it is crucial to prepare your kids as soon as you know you need to move abroad. From her experience, these are important points:

• Ask your kids if they want to do it. Make them feel you take this decision together. Make them feel engaged in the entire process.
• Create a curiosity about the country and culture.
• Prepare a list of goals and fears, along with strategies to overcome them. Estelle made these lists with her kids for both countries. Once they arrive and time has passed, check this list and see if they achieved what they planned. 

Also, I noticed Estelle brought to China their furniture, books, and things that were valuable to them. Recreating their home in an unknown country might make the adaptation easier. 

Life advice 

Estelle smiles and says, “They hate taking advice, but if I need to tell one, I would say enjoy your life and trust yourself.”